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These Stupid “Flights to Nowhere” Are The Most 2020 Thing Ever

2020 has certainly been a bang up year. Sure, there was having Tiger King to watch at the beginning of quarantine. Other that that? Hard to tell. As Q4 begins, I’m sure we’re all looking to find some levity or glimmer of the easy going pleasantries of yesteryear. Hell – I moved into a resort bubble outside Orlando . I won’t judge doing what’s best for you. But flying in a plane to nowhere? Come on.

You’re So Vain, You Probably Think This Post is About You

You can find all sorts of different data on the average rate of people traveling by plane. One says that the average person flies 6.5 flights per year. Another sources says that in 2017 less than half (45%) of all Americans even stepped foot on an airplane. First off, do you really miss flying THAT much? I used to fly a minimum of twice weekly – and I really don’t.

And while I credit airlines getting as creative as possible to extract revenue from our pockets, I can’t help but think that boarding a RT flight to nowhere isn’t the best way. Even with studies coming out with updated stats on the chances of catching COVID-19 on a plane, I can’t imagine what is so great. Help me understand why:

The Cost

Sure, these flights are great PR fodder for airlines, but these people flying aren’t bloggers getting a free ticket. They’re spending their own money! Qantas charged between $787 and $3,787 depending on the cabin. Don’t even get me started on the fact you had to pay cash. But then again, would you even want to waste miles on something like that?

In-Flight Movies

Oh! The joy I used to have for an in-flight movie. Most times I was more excited about the entertainment than the food. I used to love catching up on films I missed in the theatre but were not yet available on HBO. But, thanks to quarantine, I have binged pretty much any TV content or movie library that can be binged. Speaking of food…and binging…

In-Flight Dining

Are you really going to spend over $3,000 for a Business Class seat to nowhere just so you can have some mediocre food served to you at 30,000 feet? Really? For that price, hire a private chef for an in home dining experience with your COVID Pod or 8 socially distant friends in the back yard.

And, if you’re paying to fly to nowhere and CHOOSE to sit in coach? $700+ for that? Even when I HAD to fly coach long haul, I would rather bring my own food, rather than the sodium laden slop they serve in steerage. And, at least you got to go somewhere when you landed! You need red wine served out of plastic that bad? May I introduce you to boxed wine. Just take the bag out.

Personal Space

Ok, so even if everyone is wearing their mask (expect for when they are eating) do you miss having people within inches of your personal bubble that much? You do? For seven hours though? Whilst still in the middle of a global pandemic?


The Environment.

I can’t tell you the amount of shit I used to get from friends, family and colleagues for how horrible my carbon footprint was. Chances were always high that someone I would only see at annual conferences or holiday parties or family functions, would give me an ear full about how all my flying was effecting the environment.

One of the very few silver linings from countries locking down were those amazing photos of clean air in cities known more for their smog than anything else.

And, sure it’s good to have pilots in rotation to make sure they stay sharp and keep up their flying hours. But, really? Not so sure if flight attendants will be vying for these kind of routes however when they are only paid for the time in the air and not enjoying a new destination.

As I Step Down Off My Soapbox

The only exception for flights to “nowhere” are the amazing programs like United Airlines’ Fantasy Flights. Where not only is the flying time not a wasteful 7 hours, but kids who are in truly in need of holiday magic actually get to “visit” the North Pole.

It’s one thing to add to carbon emissions when you’re traveling to make a living, celebrating a life event with loved ones or simply enjoying a well earned vacation. It’s another thing all together when you’re contributing to pollution simply because you miss having someone wait on you in business class, or worse miss flying so mush you will pay to be crammed up against people with shit food. Thank god Singapore Airlines is the first airline to come to their senses by ending their version of this stupid marketing endeavor.

The post These Stupid “Flights to Nowhere” Are The Most 2020 Thing Ever was first published on Coworkaholic.

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